My boss called and asked where he was?
Why isn’t he there, making easy money like a baus?
I didn’t know what to say,
All I remember hearing on the phone was that he was getting laid.
Maybe I was still half asleep,
And couldn’t a conversation keep,
Because when the phone rang,
I was still in the middle of my dreaming thang.
He blabbed and blabbed,
Spewed words like he was on his Sabbath,
Like some sort of deranged monkey,
Back kicking and spazzing like a virgin donkey.
So I said okay,
I’ll cover your shift, but you better find a way
To hook it up with some monsters,
Tallies or pink baby lobsters.
He replied with an I don’t mind,
I hope so, because I can go the drive,
And murder me some Phillies,
Straight gunning, blade cunning like baby blue lilies.